Guest speaker [Original fiction]

Title: Guest Speaker
Fandom: N/A (original fiction)
Character(s): Vico Veneto, you.
Warnings: Half-crack

Vico beamed at you, and the countless other people who are behind you (even if there aren't any).

"Hi," he said dramatically. He was sitting on a couch, on the stage with a giant 'VICO' banner behind him. The spotlights were trained on the teen, who had brown hair with streaks of violet in it. He was wearing baggy pants and a hoodie which wrote 'Vy-oh, not Vee-oh', an inside joke which may or may not be explained later.

"Anyway," said Vico, adjusting the microphone near his mouth, "I am here to introduce myself. As you can see--" he gestured towards the banner behind him "--my name is Vico. I came from my Author's imagination in some very strange daydreams, I'd prefer you not ask.

"The first thing you need to know about me is that I like cake. Also, my original name was Vio, which was short for Violet, of all things! However, the author wanted it changed to Italian and so chose Vico, which is not pronounced Vye-ko and more like Vee-ko, which is horrible because Vio is pronounced Vi-oh and I know you're all very interested in my name."

"Boooooo!" said the audience (including you).

Vico pouted. "Well the thing is!" he shouted over the boo-ing, "Author couldn't think of anything to write today. She ran out of muse really quickly. So I'm here. I'm like the guest, I'm so awesome."

Meanwhile, backstage, the Author checked the traffic of her blog. It went from normal to zero within a matter of seconds. Vico was so getting fired.